Coverage, coverage, coverage! I gots it, you wants it, let’s doos it!
•Life of Vice GN (Robin Enrico): “The kaiju has been rampaging for the better part of an hour, leaving whole city blocks either devastated or Sharpied beyond all recognition. Evacuation efforts continue, but we’ve gotten to talk with several citizens that got out of the city early. While they’re anxious about their homes and livelihoods, most agree they’d rather drink a beer with her over Godzilla. Could the king be voted out this term?”
•The Okay Witch GN (Emma Steinkeller): Flying backwards while balancing on one foot and she’s just OKAY? Listen up, you thought Harry Potter was cool when he made Seeker his first year? This magical phenom here’s primed to be her own team and go undefeated for the season. The Gaming Association’ll need to commission a new champion’s cup after she wins total ownership of the old one for life. And on the off-season she heads to half-pipes and pulls tricks that would drive Tony Hawk to utter madness – for his sake, I hope he can collect royalties from an asylum.
•Ether – The Disappearance of Violet Bell 1 (Kindt/ Rubin): That is the look of a man that knows he had nothing to do with the bodies on the floor, even going so far as to show his blade is the only clean one in the room. He does this not for proving his innocence, nor as a sign of respect to the fallen. Nope, he’s doing this to show that whoever has to clean this mess up will NOT be him, and he’ll challenge anyone that says otherwise.
•Wolverine Annual 1 (Houser/ Borges): This doesn’t look like a battle so much as a failed high-five. Maybe they’re trying to come up with some kind of elbow clap they can do mid-battle, because clearly they’ve got their hands full. Needs work.
•Harleen 1 of 3 (Stejpan Sejic): In hindsight it should’ve been obvious. All her costumes featured diamonds, and snuck the other three suits in where they could. Add to that a smile the Joker approved of and of course everyone’s going to assume she’s a card shark. But actually deal her into a game and her poker face crumbles.
•SFSX 1 (Horn/ Dowling): They were as perfect for each other as any couple could be, which in the end may prove to prevent them from ever getting together. Both took protection VERY seriously.
•Batman Curse of the White Knight 3 (Sean Murphy): “Okay Batman, get in the game. You’ve got a utility belt, decades of training, more experience than the entire Gotham FBI, you got this. This, this is nothing. If things were really too complicated and messed up, we’d get the hammer, and there’s no hammer around he – oh guano, she brought the hammer. Harley’s here and she brought THE HAMMER!?! Don’t move, Batman, just become the night and hopefully she won’t spot you.”
•Plot 1 (Moreci & Daniel/ Hixson): I know you’re hurting right now, and it feels like the hurting will never stop, but we all need you to know that’s simply not true. It’ll hurt for a while, yes, but everyone here’s going to support you through that hurt. And some day, you’ll find that you can manage the hurt on your own, and we’ll celebrate that day! But for now, maybe you could bring the volume down? Nobody gets a perfect card on their Emmy bracket, and that’s okay.”
•Relics of Youth 1 (Nicholas & Rebmann/ Patridge): “Any of you ever look up at the sky and wonder what odds are for? I mean like, between evolution and developing sentience and the flow of time, if you just look at the odds, we shouldn’t exist. Any time a baby’s born it’s a googleplex to 1 event or something, and yet we’re six of those events on a planet of billions. Explain to me how that works!”
“First you gotta explain to us how any of that crap comes to mind when there’s that giant face staring down at us. It’s not even the same face, but it follows us everywhere!”
•Battle Chasers Anthology TP (Joe Maduriera et. al.): And now presenting Chapter 81 in our ongoing series: Adults Staring at Inanimate Objects.
•Rolled a One GN (Chris Baldie): There’s a game mechanic for ya – any time someone rolls a critical failure, a giant boulder tears through the party and everyone has to make dodge rolls or start stating a new character. So much angry tea spilling everywhere, and me with a whole box of shame cookies to enjoy it with! Oh wait, but what if everyone’s in a fight, and the party’s able to get away, but the faceless minions of the week get crushed? Would the party or the failure stone get the treasure afterward? Questions like this are why I don’t run games!
See you next week!
Looking for earlier blogs by Ryan Walsh for Comic Carnival? They’re here: Variant Coverage Blog Back Issues