You DO have a reason to dig yourself out of the snow that isn’t to make a mob of snowmen and trample them to paste Godzilla-style – new comics this week! Put your gloves on the walkway and salt your hands – scratch that, reverse it – and get yourself some reading material to cozy up with!
•Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur Volume 8 (Montclare/ Various): I know that’s a squirrel on a power line silhouetted in the foreground, but at first I thought it was going to be a Gilliam animation short for Monty Python and now I cannot unsee that. Or maybe a Canadian from South Park. I need to see that scaley head flop around while speaking in a heavy accent! Don’t judge me!!
•Wellington 1 of 5 (Mahnke & Dawson/ Kowalski): “There’s something about this firewood that I can’t quite puzzle out. Cornwald, the firewood didn’t come from that forest where all the demonic rituals were held, was it?”
“No sir, I believe you’re referring to the absinthe you’re currently drinking.”
“I suppose that could be it. It’s going to be a long night of violent hallucinations and screaming, that’ll be all for today.”
•Family Tree 2 (Lemire/ Hester & Gatspur): This crossover between Guardians of the Galaxy and The Bodyguard is so confusing and surreal and if they pull a mid-season cliffhanger I will burn Vancouver to the ground. They know what they did.
•Angela Della Morte 2 (Salvador Sanz): “What are you doing?”
“This battle mech challenged me to a blinking contest, and I’m winning.”
“Bwa- No. The mech’s just on guard duty, it doesn’t even have eyes. Its cameras don’t have lids!”
“Making my inevitable victory more epic.”
•Suicide Squad 1 (Taylor/ Redondo): There is nothing wrong with the way you react to things. Look at all the different emotions expressed after a 45 second gif that ends with a dad pun. There’s no wrong way to feel.
•Read Only Memories 1 (Grace/ Simeone): “Any last words before I execute you?”
“Yes: Why are you doing this in an amusement park on Family Night? Isn’t it wrong to murder in front of children?”
“Only if you want to raise weaklings. I watched five farmers die under a combine harvester when I was six – counterfeit firmware update from Russia – and look how well I’ve turned out.”
•Gung Ho 1 (Von Eckartsberg/ von Kummant): The hottest band in the country’s coming to a little town in Arkansas, looking to win new fans, but there’s a ghost terrorizing everybody! It’s going to take everything they’ve got – their friendship, their music, and their rabid baboon legs – to save everyone.
•Hardcore Reloaded 1 of 5 (Thomas/ Portela): In space, no one can hear you scream and moan while trying to pass that space burrito you ate two days ago. That space queso was not queso, not queso at all.
•Seeress Reckless One-Shot (Pierce/ Jacot): “Come at me, bro!”
“You are a ninety-pound human with a walking stick, I’ve no need to ‘come at’ you.”
“Ya little wuss, ‘fraid I’ll rough up them horns of yours?”
“You are trash-talking an ancient dragon larger than some of your castles, do you understand that?”
“Do YOU understan’ your FACE?!?”
“Have you been drinking my flammable bile? Can you even see?”
•Old Guard II – Force Multiplied 1 of 5 (Rucka/ Fernandez): Never bring a blade to a gun fight, but when off to slaughter an evil private military company, it’s a major faux pas not to bring both.
•Skulldigger & Skeleton Boy 1 of 6 (Lemire/ Zonjic): “The crime families are all down there negotiating how to split Dumas’s territory. We can shut down all organized crime in the tri-county area in a matter of hours! Are you ready for this, Polly?”
“What was that, Polly?”
“Skeleton Boy! Just because I’m riding on your shoulder doesn’t mean you can change my street name!”
“Says the kid with peanut butter and crackers in his utility belt.”
And with that, I wish you all some happy holidays! See you in two weeks!
Looking for earlier blogs by Ryan Walsh for Comic Carnival? They’re here: Variant Coverage Blog Back Issues