Comics. Comics! COMICS!!!
•Dawn of X TP Vol 1 (Hickman et. al./ Yu et. al.): So deep within the thinktank of Marvel Comics, someone thought that what the first collection of a new era of mutant-based stories needed was a cover that’s half empty, grey space. That’s the kind of choice made when the editors think “Okay, so half of the material’s neutral filler, but rather than hide it behind a deceptive cover page, let’s just own it.”
•Tartarus 1 (Christmas/ Cole): “Hold it – are you guys scrapping that war bot for parts after having destroyed it, in spite of knowing that it’s government property?”
•Gotham City Monsters 6 of 6 (Orlando/ Nahuelpan): And now we bring this narrative to a close and watch as its characters learn a valuable lesson applicable to real life – if you’re going to build a superteam of monsters and NOT invite the 50-foot person, make sure the 50-foot person NEVER finds out you built a superteam. It’s not the kind of thing you’d think about normally, but now that it’s come up, you can see for yourselves it makes a lot of sense.
•Beyond the Clouds GN (Nicke): “See? When you get high enough, any part of the world can be beautiful! It doesn’t matter if pieces don’t match, or even if it’s clean – so long as there’s harmony, it all works.”
“From up here, sure, I see your point. From down there, where Mrs. Dirigible’s furnace won’t turn off and where I need money for rent, there’s plenty that doesn’t work. Can we get going now, please?”
“You’ve no poetry in your soul!”
“Unless you’ve got another gig lined up, you’ll have no place to sleep next week, let’s go!”
•Alienated 1 (Spurrier/ Wildgoose): We all know at least one story where neighbors gradually become a couple. We all know a story where a body was built into a wall and left to die, its spirit trapped there forever. These are usually different stories, but the mash-up could go to some neat places – let’s see how this plays out.
•Dungeons & Dragons Infernal Tides 1 (Zub/ Dunbar): “Hey, party meeting! I know we were hired to clear out the infernal gang set up in this part of town, but I’ve been… negotiating with one of them and it sounds like we might’ve been duped. I’m not saying we were lied to, I’m just suggesting we sit (or lie down) with them and get their side of things first. Show of hands???”
•Undone by Blood 1 (Nadler & Thompson/ Kivela): Solid question worth considering here – once you finish the river of blood, what do you do with it? The place’ll smell like copper, forget about washing anything in it ever again, and good luck getting rid of the vampires. I shudder at the idea of what kind of fish would live in it.
•Gwen Stacy 1 (Gage/ Nauck): “Oh, what a beautiful day! Life’s awesome for me – I’m having fun in college, I’m proud of my dad, I’m thinking the nerdy boy that runs off at odd times likes me back, and this turtleneck I’m rocking brings out my best features! It’s tight where it should be tight, loose where it should be loose, and elongates my neck is such a flattering way. I’m surprised people don’t mention how long and breakable it is more often, now that I think about it.”
•Amazing Spider-Man 39 (Spencer/ Coello): A battle of titans! Which will give out first? Spider-Man’s lungs under the deluge of Jameson’s hate-spit, or the old veins standing between Jonah and a cluster of embolisms!?
•Supergirl 39 (Houser/ Stott): “Great idea, Diana!”
“This is NOT my idea!”
“Don’t be so modest – I LOVE the idea of a Pat-on-the-Back-o-Gram! Just wondering why you ordered the giant war-robot package instead of, for instance, a stern-but-kind grandpa type?”
“I promise you I did not hire a death droid to crush us both! Push harder!”
“Gotta say I’m feeling belittled. See, I’m the one mutated by Joker gas, but you’re the one clowning around.”
•Zatanna and the House of Secrets TP (Cody/ Yoshitani): “Don’t start with me, Hopster! I know how many horror movies start with someone barging into a strange house during a thunderstorm, but those’re stories. We’ll only stay until the storm passes. Now look, there’s nothing weird about this place at allllll… Hopster. This wallpaper stopped being made in the 1960’s, but it looks fresh. And this panelling actually carved, not manufactured! The hardwood flooring’s nice, and the ceiling? Well, the ceiling’s either two miles up or just doesn’t exist. But we’re sticking to the plan, Hopster! We’ll stay just long enough for the rain to stop, and for me to find out who the contractor was for this place, THEN straight home!”
See you next week!
Looking for earlier blogs by Ryan Walsh for Comic Carnival? They’re here: Variant Coverage Blog Back Issues