Variant Coverage – February 26, 2020

Let’s close February out with some four-color funtasmagoria! (CC Note: That’s not a word!) (You pay me to write, I decide what’s a word and what isn’t.) There’s some top-tier stuff out this week, so let’s get right into it!

Apocalypse Girl 2 (Les Garner): That’s two points off for basically copying the cover from issue 1, and another five points off because it’s STILL not a good idea to shoot your potential customers in the face with a double-barrelled shotgun!

Falcon & Winter Soldier 1 of 5 (Landy/ Vincentini): “I told you the BLUE cable! Blue!”
“There were three blue cables and you knew it! And don’t act like you were ‘overwhelmed’ back there, I’ve seen you drop squadrons with a half-loaded Glock and a can of paint.”
“Why didn’t you ask your bird for help, then?”
“Redwing was hotwiring the vents to keep the gas out, and you have NOT thanked him yet. Pet my bird, Bucky!”

Hidden Society 1 of 4 (Scavone/ Albuquerque): So let me get this straight: the world’s in peril, and the ragtag team of underdogs is made up of a skinny wannabe cowboy, a blind girl, a demon in league with big tobacco, and a young boy with craft herpes for hands. This won’t be boring, that’s for sure.

All Action The Odyssey GN (Homer/ Caudwell): The guy climbed up a tall mountain so that he could throw a smaller mountain at a target. Why? Because while the one-eyed man may be king, he’ll never have depth perception, so any ranged attack needs area-of-effect.

Force Works 2020 1 of 3 (Rosenberg/ Ramirez): There was a massive debate over whether or not the Amazing Colossal Man or the 50-Foot Woman should be counted as kaiju, but now that there’s some precedent to fall back on, Marvel’s cashing in on that sweet, super-statuesque payday. And so long as they get the scaling right, they won’t even have to redesign the costumes, so that’s a budget-saver!

Amethyst 1 of 6 (Amy Reeder): “On this planet, volcanoes float, animal matter morphs into mineral and then plant matter with a few other transformations in between, and the only reason I haven’t turned and gone into that castle is because the road screamed that they’d kill me for not being made of yak hair. When people ask if I’ve done drugs before, I’ll say yes and just tell them about this place.”

Fantastic Four Grimm Noir 1 (Duggan/ Garney): Ben’s in trouble, the “this may be my last night alive” kind of trouble. Ben needed help – not the kind that burns or hides or stretches – the kind that made trouble disappear into landfills and it’s never talked about again. Late into the night, Ben walked down Yancy Street turning into an alley he’d never allow his nephew or niece to know about. The “man” who opened the door looked monstrous, desperate, dangerous – everything Ben could ask for.

Leviathan Dawn 1 (Bendis/ Maleev): “When they said the museum was a ‘fixer-upper’, I thought the wiring may be outdated, or the walls need replastering in spots. That the exhibits were what’d broken down? This isn’t so much a museum as a scrapyard for history. Whelp, good thing I’m a supervillain and can take my glorious & terrible revenge out on the ones that sold me this sinkhole.”

Tomorrow 1 of 5 (Milligan/ Hervas): I’m no dream interpreter, but I believe that the major message of this imagery is one of resolution. The city on fire represents how we come from and return to ash, the young musician is our attempt to make our short lives stand out. The woman stares in quiet disgust, as if we just told a tasteless joke, and the tree with the child silhouettes stands for humanity’s insisting on repeating ourselves over and over until we find someone that appreciates us. The cello represents your grandmother – you’re too skinny!

Finger Guns 1 (Richards/ Halvorson): Talk to your kids about finger gun violence before they too become a victim, and find themselves dropping to the floor shaking anytime someone makes a “pew pew” noise.

Kidz 2 (Ducoudray/ Joret): “Why’re we defending the top of this hill?”
“Because it’s ours and no one else deserves it!”
“Why have we armed ourselves with basic household objects?”
“Because this is our home, and our home defends us as we defend it!”
“And why are half of us holding metal in the middle of a lightning storm?”
“Because we weren’t paying attention in school!”
“Damn straight!”

See you next week!

Looking for earlier blogs by Ryan Walsh for Comic Carnival?  They’re here: Variant Coverage Blog Back Issues

Variant Coverage Review Blog by Ryan Walsh for Comic Carnival

Variant Coverage Review Blog by Ryan Walsh for Comic Carnival

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